Loss means change - not always a bad thing...

Today, I search for a new beginning.

My life seems so full of difficult stuff but really good and God-fulfilling too:  I have an autistic child who is 13 and has for years searched for a way to kill me (all knives are hidden in the house);  I've blown out birthday candles on birthday cakes since I was 16 trying to find Mr. Right (I think he is here but am I right?  does a Mr. Right exist?); my mom is starting to suffer from dementia and she has the weirdest dreams such as she killed me in her apartment and Channel 8 was outside wanting to interview her...  Yeah, it gets better but I have humor and a bright soul.

I'm 46, SWF, outgoing, Height and Weight disproportionate, animal lover (dog, dog, cat, and rat).  This sounds like one of my old personals ads and yes, I've done it.  I've never been mainstream for match.com or eharmony.

My Church on Mother's day CLOSED DOWN with a 2-week notice from the pastor.  I've been going there for over 4 years and his new interest is the food bank not the Church.   Wow!  Just because a Pastor has a new summer home doesn't mean that he needs Sunday's free, does it?  So I must pray that God opens up new pathways for me.

I have existed through child-hood physical abuse, sexual abuse, mental illness, my son's mental illness, at 13 being the mommy to a mommy who I felt like I raised after her divorce through dementia, through her hoarder's existence (we lived with 30 some cats in a 2 bedroom townhouse with 2 adults, 1 newborn asthmatic child, a dog that peed everywhere, ah sigh).

Had a psychotic break after 2 years off my meds while being pregnant and breastfeeding for a year.

I worked, commuted from Fredericksburg, VA to Northern Virginia for around 20 years also earning my AAS in Business and my Bachelor's in Communications.  I have been an administrative assistant, a Human Resources Director, a Teacher, and crashed down to a couple of hours a weekend at Hardees where I was not a stellar employee while I was homeless in my van.

THIS STUFF IS NOT MADE UP.  This is my personal story.  I can relate with a lot of people and strongly hope that you can relate with me.

Please join my journey.  I promise humor and growth in a life worth living.

Julie Anne Joyce May 15, 2014